Thursday, March 30, 2017


I learned something very interesting today from auther Stephen Covey in his popular book "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". He urged his readers to "seek first to understand then to be understood". That really stuck with me, reason being most conversations are spent diagnosing the speaker and imposing our beliefs without really thoroughly spending time to truly understand the other persons point of view.

My husband and I were recently invited to dinner at a friend's home. After dinner we got engaged in a very heated political debate, it was very emotionally charged. We heard the opposing side of my friend's brother. But seemed so engaged in our own conviction that we really didn't spend time to listen. That conversation stuck with me, because even though I did not agree with my friend's brother's point of view, I saw in that conversation the importance of truly seeking to understand the point of view of others by not just hearing, but really putting ourselves in their shoes. Really spending time to listen.

Seeking first to understand means we learn to listen before speaking. It means being open to being influenced by the other person's view point. However we enter conversations with our own convictions and preconceived notions. We are usually preoccupied with winning an argument or responding in a conversation instead of really listening and understanding.

So I urge you to truly be present and in the moment the next time you are in conversation or in a heated debate or arguement with someone. Don't say "I understand" without truly listening. Spend time to understand that persons point of view, spend time to put yourself in that persons shoe. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. The difference will be profound.

Listen with me.

One Love

Friday, March 17, 2017


A mind is truly a terrible thing to waste. When I would hear motivational speakers talk about negative self talk, I really didn't quite get it. I assumed that negative self talk was this loud megaphone in a person's head yelling at them about how unworthy and incapable they were of doing something or accomplishing something. But I was so convinced that negative self talk was not one of my problems. Then I began to listen. And it became very evident and clear that I had chosen to host conversations in my head that were so limiting to my personal growth.

I struggle with this on a daily basis. Just the fear of moving forward towards living what I know for me will be a purposeful life is crippling. It's so evident in others but we rarely identify it in ourselves. How can I stop that nagging negative self talk is a constant thought of mine. Here are a few steps that I'm committed to taking, in order to get those thoughts under control.

1. Become clear about what I want to accomplish. It is important to totally understand our own goals vs the desires others have for us, especially our parents. So many times we become uncomfortable with the things we are pursuing, reason being they were not our goals to begin with, they were the ideas that have been imposed on us by others. So I need to identify clearly in my head then write it down on paper what I want to accomplish.

2. Making a decision that this is the path that I am going to pursue. Also write this down on paper for clarity sake. Making a decision is such an important step in acknowledging and accomplishing the goals that we have set for ourselves. Also setting a date on when this goal will be accomplished and the micro steps that need to be taken in order to accomplish the goal. Again, write this on paper.

3. Acknowledging the fear that will come with setting this goal. FEAR is false expectations appearing real. When those thoughts come, make a note of them then identify why this particular though or feeling is false. Begin an I CAN journal. Identify 10 reasons why I can accomplish this goal and why I am worthy of accomplishing this goal.

4. Power up with motivating quotes, books, videos. Allow into my personal space information that will enhance my self confidence. Also power up with more knowledge in the desired field. Take the necessary steps to become an expert in my desired field.

5. Eliminate or limit toxic people. Limiting contact with people who will not support or build my dream. Instead get a mentor, someone capable of coaching me. I got this thought from Lisa Nichols, people will not understand my dream because God didn't give that dream to them, he gave it to me.

6. Take massive action. Begin implementing my micro goals or steps one by one. But step out in confidence knowing that if God blessed me with an inspiration or a dream, He is committed to seeing it through. God is not mediocre, so I better bring my best game.

Please dream with me.

One Love

Friday, March 10, 2017


How would I like  to be remembered when I breathe my last breath is a thought that I have been struggling with. The vision that I have of myself, is that how I am being viewed? How does my spouse view me, how does my child view me, how am I viewed among my friends, coworkers, acquaintances, strangers? Do my words and actions align with who I say I am or who I think I am? Here are four of the qualities that I pray will become part of my personality.

A Builder:

I've always had a thing for real estate investing, but this is not the type of building I'm speaking of. I want to be the person who builds others up. In our relationships, especially when we are angry, we can say the most harsh and mean things. I no longer want to be the person who tears others down in conversation or even in an argument. Who drops mean and unkind comments about others, or even harbor negative thoughts about others. Instead channel that energy into building others up.

A Risk Taker:

I want to be that person who doesn't allow herself to be discouraged by a challenge. Someone who goes after living her dream. I want to fearlessly step out of my comfort zone and work assiduously towards creating the life I want for myself.

A Christian:

Not only by name, but truly allowing Christ like principles to guide my life. And to guide others to Christ.

A Happy Person:

I want to be that person whose personality is infectious, laugh is contagious. Who brings that happiness into the room. I want to be happy but also make others happy, regardless of my circumstances.

This list has no doubt been cut short. But they do capture the essence of who I want to become. What are the character traits that you want to be remembered for?

Be a builder, a risk taker, a christian and a happy person with me.

One Love