Thursday, June 8, 2017
The Perfect Marriage????
After writing the blog "Running Towards Your Dreams With Audacity" I got a text from a friend of mine who had a concern. Most of the articles that I write are intended to motivate myself and others to put our best foot forward and work hard towards accomplishing our goals. But he asked me, what if the goal you are currently working on isn't really your own? What if the dream you thought you had, was really mirroring your parents dreams or desires for you? What if your simply reflecting what society expects of you? Is what you are pursuing and your passion a perfect couple? Are they perfectly married to each other? Should you continue to pursue that goal or jump ship and move on to pursuing your passion?
So to answer that question, I decided to share a bit of my own story. I remember wanting to move to the US to pursue my Bachelors in Biology. I remember my dad being quite adamant that I should instead go on to teachers college and do a diploma in education. To my dad, that meant stability. Moving to another country with almost no money and really no where to live at the time, to him was a sure sign of failure. But to me, going off to teachers college in Jamaica, meant letting go of my dreams. Ultimately, I have to live my life for me. He eventually accepted that his desires could not out weigh my own passion and he gave me his blessing. So for me, I believed I made the right choice in standing my ground and going after my goal.
I have seen or heard of many people who after pursuing a particular career make a complete change and go after something that they always felt passionate about.
My Suggestion to young people:
If you believe you are being pushed into a career path that really wasn't your passion but your parents, have a heart to heart conversation with them. Allow them to see that you do have your own goals and dreams and you should be given the oportunity to pursue that. However, understand that parents want what's best for their kids, so approach it with an open mind, try to see the value they are pouring into you. You also have to show them that you are responsible and business like. Your parents know you best, so if they cannot trust you in making your own decisions, it is possible that you have a history of not making the right choices in your life. This has now prompted them to feel the need to take over the decision making in your life.
My Suggestion To Parents:
Be a guide, not a bully and most importantly, listen. Children rebel when they believed they are not being heard or if they are being disrespected. Give them the guidance and support they need, but do not allow your own prejudice to blind your ability to see the value in what they are pursuing. Sometimes you are right, a positive approach on your part may steer them back onto the right side.
My Suggestion to Those Locked Into the Wrong Field or Career:
Well, personally I believe that my passion does npt allign with my 9 to 5. My suggestion is to first change your approach towards your own career. You may have kids or certain financial obligations, so jumping ship may not be the right decision at the moment. However, find the best way to passionately pursue your goal. Approach it like it's a business. It may be that you have to wake up earlier, take a specific class, whatever it is, make a conscious choice to work on this goal with dedication and determination. Also very important, never allow it to undermine your current job. I've heard a saying once that said "how you show up somewhere is how you show up everywhere". In other words, if your approach to your current job is mediocre, then most likely you will be mediocre across the board.
Finding Your Calling:
What is it that you do effortlessly without thinking? It may be as simple as loving to talk. Spend time praying and soul searching about this. I do believe that each individual is born with unique talents and gifts that are manifested in various ways. When you find what you true calling is, nurture it, cultivate it, and allow it to bloom. Use it to make your mark and leave your legacy in the world.
If you find yourself in the wrong career, be very clear with yourself regarding what area you desire to persue, and go after it. Don't allow other peoples' thoughts to hinder you. Having a family to feed may make the transition extremely hard. However, you will be successful if you truly believe this is your calling, if you work hard towards accomplishing it, and if you constantly find ways and means to grow in this field. Allow yourself to be happily married to your career.
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