Thursday, August 17, 2017


It is so easy to look on someone else's problems  and assume that we have the answer. And to be critical of those going through issues that we believe are self imposed. But it's those moments when we find ourselves in adverse circumstances that we become less judgmental and more empathetic towards those in bad situations.

It's so simple to say take our lemons and make lemonade. But for the person who is struggling with those lemon experiences, getting up and moving forward at times seems impossible.

Here are some steps one can use to overcome and move forward through these adverse situations:

1. Know that you are not alone in your struggle. We are not the first nor the last to go through these experiences. I absolutely love to read. So I spend time reading topics that address my current issues. Also read biographies of people who overcame challenging situations and were able to make it.

2. Find a support group. I am a big church girl as most of you know. I find comfort in talking to my loved ones about challenges that I am facing. But it's not always the best option. Find a support group that is specifically designed to address your particular needs. These groups are great in keeping us accountable. Or consider counseling.

3. Make time for finding joy. Begin embracing and participating in those activities that have the ability to lift us out of our funk. Spend more time focusing on the positive vs dwelling on the negatives.

4. Don't self blame. Although our actions may have led us down a path of destruction, it really holds us captives. Look at the past mistake only with the desire to learn from them and find ways we can move ourselves out of that situation. But don't allow it to be a crutch.

5. Set a goal, (your silver lining) and spend time focusing on accomplishing that goal.

6. The bible is the best self help book that I know. Nothing beats spending time meditating on God promises. Remember, all our adversities, no matter how challenging, serve as an engine to propel us forward. It is hard thinking of our adversities in a positive light. I know you are saying easier said than done right? I have been right there thinking that same thing over and over and over....ok you get the gist. But at the end of the day, they are our opportunities to become stronger, wiser and more resilient. And if we can start conditioning ourselves to think of our adversities as opportunities, instead of obstacles, we are halfway to making them into the building blocks they are meant to be.

Please share with me your techniques in overcoming adversities. As I disclosed in an earlier blog, I am currently facing my own personal challenges and struggles. I love hearing from you.

Need your kind thoughts and prayers as I'll be welcoming my son before the next blog post.

One Love

Thursday, August 10, 2017


THE HABIT PROJECT: LIVING IN THE CRUCIBLE: Yesterday while sitting at my desk I felt compelled to plug in my earphones and listen to something motivational while I worked. I tuned in ...


Yesterday while sitting at my desk I felt compelled to plug in my earphones and listen to something motivational while I worked. I tuned in to Bishop TD Jakes on Oprah's Life Class. What I learned was so profound, I immediately felt the urge to share it with some of my closest friends. In this clip Jakes spoke about understanding adversities in our lives. He compared those moments to shooting a bow and arrow. The further back you pull the bow, the greater it's resistance, but when released it propels further. In his own words " use your disaster for direction, it is through adversity, that our strength is developed. It is through those moments that you realize, you're more resilient than you thought you were".


I'm living in it. I've lived in it before, and I'm sure my future holds many more to come. What am I making reference to? I'm referring to my current crucible experience. Im experiencing excruciating moments of pain and sadness. I feel as though I'm in a stew of pregnancy, parenting, maternity leave issues and business decisions that are not guaranteeing positive returns in a timely fashion. It's those moments of sadness , pressure and problems that my thinking is thwarted towards negativity.


The next morning, as I sat wallowing in my own self pity, taking multiple bathroom breaks and having personal breakdowns, I began to see the miracle of the preparatory period. The point before my crucible experience began where I was given an opportunity to become strengthened (my TD Jakes experience) for the storm that I'm currently experiencing. I begun to take note of the miracle that was afforded me to power through this adverse combination of issues. I have now begun the process of determining the best approach to each unique challenge. I understand that a higher power orchestrates and helps to channel us (if we are willing) towards the place we ought to be. But first we are giving a preparatory period which is geared towards strengthening us for the tough times ahead. We must learn to recognize our crucible experiences and recognize (most times in hindsight) our preparatory period and pull strength from it, so we can experience the exponential growth our crucible experience was meant to inspire.


Find your source of strength while going through your crucible and push forward. You can only get stronger.

One Love

Thursday, August 3, 2017


So when life gives you lemons, you go ahead and you make you some lemonade. The whole Bey hive was a buzz when Beyonce released her lemonade album. Needless to say, many of the things that she sang about were tied to her marital issues, (or at least it seems that way). But let's assume that it is true. While most of us were busy on a witch hunt for "Becky with the good hair". Beyonce was smiling all the way to the bank.

The deeper message to this album though, is not necessarily the actual reveal of infidelity on Queen Bey's husband's part, but the fact that she turned her "lemon experience" into "lemonade". And walked away with millions. (Are you still searching for Becky? Good luck).

Instead of allowing the negative situations that happen in our lives to immobilize and cripple us, why not instead use it as a tool to make us stronger, resilient and successful. Life gi u dem lemons, go make u some lemonade. So whatever it is, don't allow it to define you. Instead make it propel you.

It is ok to mourn or allow ourselves to be saddened by the lemons in our lives, but we can't allow it to consume us. For encouragement read Jeremiah 29:11.

Please leave me a comment and SHARE my post on your social media sites.

One Love