There are pivotal moments in our lives, moments when God is trying to use us for the purpose or the destiny for which we were created, but we choose to go another route, only to have God try to reroute us again and again. The problem is, many of us don't heed the call, but for those of us who do, we find ourselves serving a bigger and better purpose.
Four years ago, I was heavily pregnant with my daughter. I had to leave my job due to the fact that it required lots of standing and I just couldn't do it any more. I decided to embark on a career in real estate. At the time, I had very little money left in the bank, not even enough to cover the expenses of the class. In faith, I decided to go to the school and check out their classes. There I bumped into a total stranger who volunteered to tell me, without me asking that I can get a discount for the course through groupon. Can you imagine that? I did the course, passed the exam got licensed and started working. And things were going well for me at the time. But I was still pregnant. Once the baby was born, it got difficult and I lost faith. I ended up taking a "secure government job" with pension benefits and medical leave. So with a secured salary, I quit real estate.
Four years later and I'm again at the same juncture in my life. I'm at a point where I'm feeling God pulling me in another direction, into a path of uncertainty, a path that will require total dependence on God's guidance. And I'm laughing to myself saying, God, why am I here? Deep down, I know God has a bigger meaning and purpose for my life, but I keep on choosing the easiest, "what seems to be the more secure" route. It's the route everyone tells you that is best for you. It's the route that will make your spouse happy, it's the route that will make your parents proud. But is that the route you really want to take? Do you know when God is tugging at your heart, when your faith and fear are in constant tug and war? According to my sister friend Teka "these defining moments change the trajectory of our lives". But I am so afraid, many blogs of motivation later, I'm almost paralyzed with fear. So I've decided to draw from the faith and strength of others.
This blog is especially personal, because I am being transparent with the world about my fear. I am putting my faith vs fear battle out here on the "interwebs" for all to see. I am standing at this crossroad and I have to choose between fear or faith, settling for my mediocre or leaping off a cliff in search of my greatness. Do I allow my fear to hold me back or do I step into the unknown in faith?
My advice to anyone in my situation would be to follow your faith and abandon your fear. That's the advice I'm giving myself. But as we all know, it takes strength and grit and our purpose firmly stapled in our mind.
What's tugging at your heart? Just surrender, do not allow fear to be your master.