The Perfect Marriage????

Have you ever felt like you are just stuck in a really bad relationship, but can't muster up the courage to leave?

After writing the blog "Running Towards Your Dreams With Audacity" I got a text from a friend of mine who had a concern. Most of the articles that I write are intended to motivate myself and others to put our best foot forward and work hard towards accomplishing our goals. But he asked me, what if the goal you are currently working on isn't really your own? What if the dream you thought you had, was really mirroring your parents dreams or desires for you? What if your simply reflecting what society expects of you? Is what you are pursuing and your passion a perfect couple? Are they perfectly married to each other? Should you continue to pursue that goal or jump ship and move on to pursuing your passion?

So to answer that question, I decided to share a bit of my own story. I remember wanting to move to the US to pursue my Bachelors in Biology. I remember my dad being quite adamant that I should instead go on to teachers college and do a diploma in education. To my dad, that meant stability. Moving to another country with almost no money and really no where to live at the time, to him was a sure sign of failure. But to me, going off to teachers college in Jamaica, meant letting go of my dreams. Ultimately, I have to live my life for me. He eventually accepted that his desires could not out weigh my own passion and he gave me his blessing. So for me, I believed I made the right choice in standing my ground and going after my goal.

I have seen or heard of many people who after pursuing a particular career make a complete change and go after something that they always felt passionate about.

My Suggestion to young people:

If you believe you are being pushed into a career path that really wasn't your passion but your parents, have a heart to heart conversation with them. Allow them to see that you do have your own goals and dreams and you should be given the oportunity to pursue that. However, understand that parents want what's best for their kids, so approach it with an open mind, try to see the value they are pouring into you. You also have to show them that you are responsible and business like. Your parents know you best, so if they cannot trust you in making your own decisions, it is possible that you have a history of not making the right choices in your life. This has now prompted them to feel the need to take over the decision making in your life.

My Suggestion To Parents:

Be a guide, not a bully and most importantly, listen. Children rebel when they believed they are not being heard or if they are being disrespected. Give them the guidance and support they need, but do not allow your own prejudice to blind your ability to see the value in what they are pursuing. Sometimes you are right,  a positive approach on your part may steer them back onto the right side.

My Suggestion to Those Locked Into the Wrong Field or Career:

Well, personally I believe that my passion does npt allign with my 9 to 5. My suggestion is to first change your approach towards your own career. You may have kids or certain financial obligations, so jumping ship may not be the right decision at the moment. However, find the best way to passionately pursue your goal. Approach it like it's a business. It may be that you have to wake up earlier, take a specific class, whatever it is, make a conscious choice to work on this goal with dedication and determination. Also very important, never allow it to undermine your current job. I've heard a saying once that said "how you show up somewhere is how you show up everywhere". In other words, if your approach to your current job is mediocre, then most likely you will be mediocre across the board.

Finding Your Calling:

What is it that you do effortlessly without thinking? It may be as simple as loving to talk. Spend time praying and soul searching about this. I do believe that each individual is born with unique talents and gifts that are manifested in various ways. When you find what you true calling is, nurture it, cultivate it, and allow it to bloom. Use it to make your mark and leave your legacy in the world.

If you find yourself in the wrong career, be very clear with yourself regarding what area you desire to persue, and go after it. Don't allow other peoples' thoughts to hinder you. Having a family to feed may make the transition extremely hard. However, you will be successful if you truly believe this is your calling, if you work hard towards accomplishing it, and if you constantly find ways and means to grow in this field. Allow yourself to be happily married to your career.

Please leave me a comment also share on your facebook and other social media. I can't wait to hear from you guys.

One Love
Danni

Is Your Best Good Enough?

Last night I had a conversation with a friend of mine who truly inspires me with her drive and work ethics. I thoroughly enjoy meeting and speaking with people who are consistently driven. It sparks in me a desire to push myself even further. I am getting to the place in my life where I self reflect constantly in order to see where I am falling short in giving 100 percent. The truth of the matter is, not giving our full 100 percent only makes us less marketable and we become unreliable. If I am going to be transparent and honest with you, I have fallen in both categories many times. One of the reasons I started writing The Habit Project, is my desire to instill in myself positive habits geared towards making me grow. But becoming this person who cultivates the right attitude and behavior towards even my day job, much less my blog, is a constant work in progress.

The Mental Shift:

In order to create that drive and energy needed to have that mental shift, I have began reading more, watching more motivational videos, praying more about this negative habit of mine. And truly becoming aware of my decisions. This had sparked more awareness and a desire to grow.

Consistency and Accountability

Creating a culture of greatness, starts with the mental shift, but it stays with consistency. Consistency is best achieved with accountability. It's not very easy to hold ourselves accountable, it's better to become part of a group of people who will hold us accountable. Because not everyone will support our dream or the change in us, it is important to get at least one person you know who will hold you to your word and call you out when you begin to go astray.

Skill vs Talent

Something I got from Will Smith and can be heard in this video, "talent we have naturally, skill is something we develop by constantly beating and working at our craft". Stay focused and work at it day in day out.

In an effort to have you watch the attached video, I've cut my post short. Please enjoy.

Stay striving, stay focused and stay motivated.

One Love
Danni

Running Towards Your Dream With Audacity

What does it mean to run towards your dream with audacity? It means daring to make that move towards your dream despite the odds that are against you. It means stepping out in faith even though everyone and everything points to it not becoming a reality. It's having a hunger for your dream so badly that nothing and no one can deter you from accomplishing it. I remember having that mindset when I decided I wanted to migrate to the US to study. I also know the consequences of complacency.

Motovational speaker Eric Thomas compares this mindset to someone having an asthma attack and their need for air. It's like being in a race to save either your life or the life of your child. It's wanting something so badly so deeply so desperately that come what may, you have to have it.

Often times we have dreams and goals but the ease of life as it is, dampens our desire to really push forward. I came to that place in my life. A place where things were ok enough , that I lost my drive and my vision. It was as though what I had accomplished so far was enough. I began patting myself on the back and giving myself a reason to relax.

As someone who aspires to motivate and inspire not just my own self but others as well, I cannot continue to put my dreams on the back burner.  Instead I have decided to ignite within me a desire to run towards my dreams with audacity.

In order to run towards your dream with audacity, there needs to be a clearly defined WHY. A clearly defined why for motivational speaker Lisa Nichols was having less than $20 in her bank account and not being able to purchase diapers for her infant son.  That experience propelled her to action making her one of the top motivational speakers in the world. A clearly defined why is that person who just got a health diagnosis and chooses to live a healthier lifestyle. A clearly defined why is that single mom who is tired of watching her children cry for hunger so she picks herself up, works odd jobs and completes college with the highest honors. A clearly defined why is that father who lost his job but has a mortgage to pay and does everything in his power to prevent his family from going homeless.

No one can define your why. Allow your why to become the wind beneath your wings. Allow your why to propel you forward.  Allow your why to be the driving force behind you running towards your dream with audacity.

"For faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidences of things not seen" Hebrews 11 : 1.

Please, please, please leave me a comment I thoroughly enjoy reading them. You can Facebook me, watsapp me or comment on the blog itself. Or text me, whatever works best.

One Love
Danni

Living Life in Crescendo.....It Only Gets Louder With Time

If you've known the word crescendo since childhood, you probably have a musical mom like mine or maybe a music teacher like my mom or even better my mom was your music teacher. Before I even knew myself she had me seated at the piano. She made sure I knew what a crescendo was.

A crescendo as defined by google is "a gradual increase in loudness in a piece of music". How do we live life in crescendo? It's the concept that nothing in life should hold you back from your greatness, but we allow our greatness to get louder and louder with time. Here are a few tips for living life in crescendo.

1. Age is But a Number: How many times have you cried about all the things that you should have done, and how time has passed. There is an old Jamaican saying, "it's never too late for a shower of rain". Your desires and dreams should never stop because you have grown older, instead, reinvent them. It is never too late to begin putting pen to paper and begin making moves towards that goal you want to accomplish.
2. Your Disability Does Not Define You: Physical disability should never prevent you from accomplishing the things you desire to accomplish. Instead use it as a tool to move you forward. It may serve as a source of motivation to propel you forward. Challenge yourself to do things that others may see as impossible.
3. Your Past Does not Determine Your Future: Many times we look back at our past fearing that our future will be the same. But the lessons learned from the past are crucial to streamline our future. Simply put, don't repeat the negative past, instead use those lessons to guide your future. 
4. I'm Not My Status: There is a lot of emphasis these days on personal status; financial status, relationship status, and the list goes on. The problem is, if we focus on personal status we get lost in comparing ourselves to others. This only takes our focus away from what we should be doing to accomplish our goals. I can't be any one else, I can only be the best version of me. 

 Allow yourself regardless of your age, disability, past or status to find your greatness. As the days turn into weeks, weeks into months and months into years, allow your greatness, your purpose, your desires to get brighter and brighter. It may not be recognized by others, but only you will know whether or not you are living your life in crescendo. Purpose today, this very minute, this very second to live your life out loud.

 Please leave me a comment if my mom was your music teacher lol. Also share with me how you intend to live your life in crescendo.

Please note, the concept of living life in crescendo was adapted from Steven Covey ' s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. 

One Love
Danni

Making Time for Finding Joy

Living in a busy city like I do in New York brings its own set of stressful moments. It is as if I am on go mode all the time. Finding the time to switch from always doing something to finding time for rest and relaxation may seem like an impossibility. Here are some inexpensive tips I hope you will find useful.

• Early Morning Walk or Jog: I have not done this in a while, but when I do, it really relaxes me and sets the tone for the rest of my day. While walking or jogging become aware of the beauties of nature, such as the chirping birds or spring flower blooms.
• Sipping Tea: If you're into tea, then take some time to relax and sip some tea. Doing this with a favorite book, magazine or just getting lost in thought does wonders.
• Cooking: One of my absolute favorite me time activities. Bring out that old recipe and whip something up from scratch. I have to share my cooking time with my talkative toddler these days, so it have evolved into mommy and me time. 
• Catching Up With a Friend over Dinner: Spending time with that friend who you can absolutely talk to about almost anything works wonders in keeping you grounded at times. Doesn't have to be dinner, but a quick lunch or brunch works well. You may find an evening, spent shopping with a friend, fun and relaxing as well.
• Playing an Instrument: There is nothing more relaxing than music. If you do not play an instrument,  then find time to sit, close your eyes, and listen to your favorite relaxing music. If dancing is your thing, then dance to the music of your favorite artist. 
• Reading: I absolutely love to read. I can almost always find the time to read a good book. Reading not only relaxes you, but also makes you think. 
• Skincare Treat: The winter months can be harsh on the skin and the summer brings its own set of clogged pores. These are great times to get into a detox regimen for clogged pores and hydration treatment for the winter. Make sure as you treat your skin you enjoy the proccess. It's also fun to whip up your own skincare treatments like a berry treatment for dull skin can be relaxing.
• Movie Night: This is actually great for busy couples with small kids. A great comedy with your favorite snack after the kids are gone to bed, allows the stresses of the day to melt away. 
• Sitting still: Early in the morning before anyone gets up, I am up, I worship and then I listen. It centers me. Try it, I'm sure you will fall in love.

I hope you found this article helpful. I am open to learning. I always read your comments, they inspire me. Please share what activities do you engage in for relaxation.

One Love

Danni

THE HABIT PROJECT: The Love Letter

THE HABIT PROJECT: The Love Letter: If you could go back in time what would you have changed? If you could write a love letter to your younger self, what would your advice b...

The Love Letter

If you could go back in time what would you have changed? If you could write a love letter to your younger self, what would your advise be? Those of us who are parents have the unique oportunities to show our children the mistakes we made and try as best as posible, without imposing our biases, to steer them in the right direction. 

So instead of writing a letter to my younger self, I'll instead write this letter to my mini me, Kaity.

Throughout the years I have grown, I've made lots and lots of decisions. I've made great choices, and I have made bad choices. Because of these choices, and the consequences, I now know how to guide you from repeating those mistakes and also making positive decisions that will no doubt affect you in years to come.

1. Value yourself:

There will be those moments of insecurity. And there will be times of peer pressure. They come in many forms. But if you value yourself, if you have a sense of self worth, then those moments will not scar you. You are no doubt in my eyes, precious and beautiful, but you have to believe that for yourself. 

2. Let your beauty radiate:

Don't allow your outward beauty to outshine your inner beauty. Character is way more important than physical beauty. 

3. Happiness is from within:

No matter what you acquire, if you are not happy from within, you will always be unhappy. I am not against wealth and success, but ultimately what's most important is to be appreciative of what you have while you work towards bigger and better things. 

4. Think Long-term:

Begin each day, each moment, each project, each decision with the end in mind. If you know what you want to accomplish, then manage your activities accordingly. Do not be mediocre, don't make a habit of procrastinating. Instead think about what the end should look like and move towards your goals with your vision firmly stapled on your mind. 

5. Dream Big:

No dream is too big for you to accomplish. But dreams and goals can only be accomplished one step at a time. If you value yourself and you begin with the end goal in mind, your dreams will come true. But it takes hard work, dedication and a belief that it will be done. 

6. No sweat:

Don't sweat the small stuff. Not every negative comment is worth responding to. Some people may like you, others may not. What's most important is that you know who you are. 

7. Don't covet:

Don't dislike someone for what they have. Each person has their own path to walk, embrace your own. Instead, enjoy the things God has blessed you with. Seek to uplift others, not tear them down.

8. Serve others:

This week I tried teaching you about other children in less privileged circumstances. Try to serve others who are not as fortunate as you are. Your methods may not be the ones typically used main stream for example volunteering. But what ever your method, don't live a life only for you, but live one of service to others.

9. Be humble:

Live a life of gratitude but live it in humility. Showing off is a sign of insecurity. You won't draw positive attention to yourself that way, and you won't attract genuine friends that way either. 

10. Give God praise:

I saved the best for last. I raised you with certain principles that I believe are best. Allow your life to be a principle centered life. Allow God to be the center of your life and decisions. If there was one message I could pass on to you, it would be, to put God first.

I really honor your feedback and comments. Please share with me your thoughts and challenge me on mine. Leave your comments below.

One Love

Danni