FIGHTING FAIR WITH YOUR SPOUSE

When you are in a partnership with someone conflicts and disagreements are inevitable. Some people, myself included, hate conflict but is not afraid of it. However, I believe there is a science to fighting and resolving conflict that is more constructive and can help us grow. Here are some tips that I have used that have helped me to fight fairly. 

1. Taking a step back and determining the real reason for the argument. Is it the current issue being discussed or other things in the past leading up to that moment? Once that is understood I can determine the best way to address the situation. 

2. Not being afraid of apologizing when I am wrong. Sometimes I have to let that ego go.

3. Understanding that life and death is in the power of the tongue and I cannot take back my words. 

4. Choosing my responses versus reacting to my spouses behavior or words. 

5. Seeking to understand and spending time listening versus aggressively trying to get my point across. 

6. The biggest thing for me personally, is understanding the danger of using my words specifically to inflict pain. We both have the power to shred each other with our words. And if it were to go there it would inflict more pain versus resolving a problem. Once you begin fighting with a desire to hurt someone they now have your permission to retaliate. That to me is no way to solve a situation.

One Love

Danni