FIGHTING FAIR WITH YOUR SPOUSE

When you are in a partnership with someone conflicts and disagreements are inevitable. Some people, myself included, hate conflict but is not afraid of it. However, I believe there is a science to fighting and resolving conflict that is more constructive and can help us grow. Here are some tips that I have used that have helped me to fight fairly. 

1. Taking a step back and determining the real reason for the argument. Is it the current issue being discussed or other things in the past leading up to that moment? Once that is understood I can determine the best way to address the situation. 

2. Not being afraid of apologizing when I am wrong. Sometimes I have to let that ego go.

3. Understanding that life and death is in the power of the tongue and I cannot take back my words. 

4. Choosing my responses versus reacting to my spouses behavior or words. 

5. Seeking to understand and spending time listening versus aggressively trying to get my point across. 

6. The biggest thing for me personally, is understanding the danger of using my words specifically to inflict pain. We both have the power to shred each other with our words. And if it were to go there it would inflict more pain versus resolving a problem. Once you begin fighting with a desire to hurt someone they now have your permission to retaliate. That to me is no way to solve a situation.

One Love

Danni

LESSONS LEARNED AS A MOM

Motherhood is an amazing gift that God has blessed me with. My husband and I can spend hours talking about all the cute little things our kids say and do. But as any mom knows, being a parent at times can be exhausting. Here are some lessons I had to learn as a mom that has helped to prevent burn out. 

1. I am a whole person outside of my kids. I should never neglect the things that bring me joy. 

2. I should hold my kids accountable for their actions. 

3. Avoid taking on their tasks, if they can do for themselves. Of course you can be flexible but on a whole they need to be responsible. 

4. Set boundaries, rules and expectations. And follow through on your word. 

5. Give them age appropriate responsibilities. 

6. It is not OK to disobey regardless of the age.  

7. Let them understand that their actions bring consequences good or bad. 

8. Let them have goals for themselves and work with them to accomplish these goals. 

9. Let them learn to resolve their own problems and make decisions. 

10. Let kids be kids. Let them play and have fun.

11. Understand that kids are not adults, their decisions at times will not be the best. Do not judge them by adult standards. 

One Love

Danni

MAXIMIZING YOUR CURRENT SEASON

A few days ago Kaity outlined to me all the challenges she had in school which to her seemed insurmountable. My question to her was, how do you change that and what is your role in making a difference? Your biggest struggle maybe your biggest superpower. 

If you know me on a more intimate level you know real estate is my jam. Owning more multifamily properties is my daily obsession. But as I began praying for what I wanted more of, I kept getting this thought, " what value does this season serve, and how is my current situation my super power"?

So I began becoming more intentional about getting out of debt, managing my money and paying more attention to the property I currently own. Once I got into that mindset and began taking massive action I began receiving massive blessings.

My challenge to you is to find the opportunities in your season. Make the best use of that season, trust yourself, work hard, look for a need and fill it, use this season to become a master at something. 

 

Maximize your season

 

One Love

Danni

 

LETS DEFINE FAILURE

A few nights ago I got home, fed the kids, gave my three year old a bath, curled up for story time, watched them fall asleep then left for the gym. 

Earlier that evening I was listening to a podcast and the person being interviewed was asked how she found the courage to consistently run long distances. Her answer to that question was,” I just start”.

As Kaity was drifting off to sleep I said to her, Kaity, it is getting so late I may just exercise downstairs. But something in her voice and the question she asked made me reconsider breaking the promise I made to myself. Her question was "so your not gonna go to the gym?" It was non-judgmental but I knew I had to show up to her the way  I expect her to show up. 

How do I define failure? Failure is repeatedly not keeping the promises we make to ourselves. 

It is simple just start, for some the weight of the journey immobilizes us. In those situations keep your head focused only on the next step. So in my case it did not matter how long I needed to run on the treadmill, all I needed to do was start and keep going one step at a time. 

Keep going. Continue keeping those promises you make to yourself.

 

One Love

Danni

 

SIX MONTHS TO LIVE

Today my three year old called me and said "mommy lets sit and talk". That took me by surprise so I sat and listened to her sometimes incoherent blabber. As she happily chatted, it dawned on me that I would never get that moment in time back. So instead to finding a reason to get away, I sat and listened as intently as I could. 

If you had only a few more months to live what would you do differently moving forward? How would you address relationships, would they be more meaningful to you? If you could relive your life, would you do things differently? 

The beauty of life is that each day we live we have the opportunity to live it the way we want. Especially if we are in a society where we are free. Do not wait for a diagnosis or a terrible incident to have a change of behavior. Live your life, love your friends and family, worship God, run your business and make your money, dance, laugh and have fun as if we have six months to live. 

 

THE REASON I'VE BEEN BANGING MY HEAD

So today I had a full conversation with myself out loud about being unhappy. I am unhappy. I am not unhappy all the time, but  I am in a very pivotal period in my life and I know that the source of these feelings is me not acting in my purpose and holding on to the thoughts, behaviors, friends and career choices that no longer serve me. It is time for me to make certain boss moves and I am reluctant and unwilling because of fear. 

It is important to know when God is nudging you. I'm at the point where He is not just nudging me, God is stirring me up inside out and it is driving me insane. 

Whenever you are in that space of dis-ease remove yourself from that current situation. You have outgrown it. That situation no longer serves you. You are instead serving your fear and your lack of faith.

Stepping out and into the place where you are destined to be will bring you joy and the abundance you deserve. 

 

One Love

Danni

 

PROVEN TECHNIQUE FOR MORE PRODUCTIVITY

The average person has little or no time to get things done these days. I have been experimenting with my time lately and have devised what I call the fifteen minutes rule for making me more effective at the things that I need to get done. 

This is how the fifteen minute rule works. Identify an area that you believe you need improvement in or something that you want to get done. Lets assume you want to get more fit. Block out time throughout your day and integrate fifteen minute workout sessions at intervals throughout the day, it may be fifteen minutes when you get up in the morning, fifteen minutes in the evening, fifteen minutes after lunch and maybe other times during the day if your job or work schedule allows. 

I have used the fifteen minute rule to complete folding my clothes or getting rid of a pile of unsorted mail. 

Give the fifteen minute rule a try and please leave me a comment and let me know if it was effective.

 

One Love

Danni

 

A REALTOR A MOM A DAUGHTER OF THE NORTHSHORE